Monday, August 23, 2010
I'm a BLOND yeah yeah yeah
Ok, so today was suppose to be my first day of school. I have an English class at 1pm on Monday and Wednesday's in room H217. Ok, got to class, and the instructor came in. She handed out some sheets to fill out. Then says welcome to English 1. Hmmm, I sat there with a very confused blond look and looked at her and said....."I think I'm in the WRONG class" ok, so I went down to the computer kiosk and checked my schedule. Yep, I was in the right room at the right time with the right instructor BUT my class doesn't start until OCTOBER 18....... Yep, Ms over zealous first time college girl DIDN'T even read her schedule to find out the DATE of the class. I was also the only Caucasian girl in the class. I feel special. Happy first day of school self! We'll see if I can hit it right with my night class. I guess no matter how many times I color my hair, I will ALWAYS be a blond to the bone. Off to recharge my electric lights, apparently they need it.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Drained
As of today we only have a day wait for Jason to come home. He's been at ARNG training for 2 weeks and I have a 3 1/2 yr old DYING for him to come home. She really misses him. It's so hard to explain the concept of time with her. I can't wait to see him! and neither can she!!
I had a great weekend but feel so emotionally drained. I got to spend some amazing time with my favorite (and only) sister-in-law. She is one of the MOST amazing women I know. I love her and it was much needed time.
Today we took one of our nieces for a spa day before she goes off to college. We gave her a haircut, facial, manicure and pedicure, and lunch with the two craziest bestest aunts in the world. (me and MaLissa) We want her to have a wonderful experience as she goes through her next chapter..... College. Good Luck Fishy, we love you.
So tonite I am TRYING to clean clean clean my house before Jason gets home. (remember Samme is 3) and I get this phone call.... from my father's wife to be....... My father is getting married at the young age of 70 to an amazing women. I am so so happy for him. So she calls and asks me to do a reading for there wedding. Really??? Me???? #1. I HATE HATE HATE my voice, 2. I talk to fast when I'm nervous, 3. Really? Me? ok, I'll do it.
I'm honored, but really me??? Yep you Jennifer. UGH, NERVES, know I have to practice, practice, practice.
Now I'm blogging instead of cleaning, so I best get to work.
Jenn
I had a great weekend but feel so emotionally drained. I got to spend some amazing time with my favorite (and only) sister-in-law. She is one of the MOST amazing women I know. I love her and it was much needed time.
Today we took one of our nieces for a spa day before she goes off to college. We gave her a haircut, facial, manicure and pedicure, and lunch with the two craziest bestest aunts in the world. (me and MaLissa) We want her to have a wonderful experience as she goes through her next chapter..... College. Good Luck Fishy, we love you.
So tonite I am TRYING to clean clean clean my house before Jason gets home. (remember Samme is 3) and I get this phone call.... from my father's wife to be....... My father is getting married at the young age of 70 to an amazing women. I am so so happy for him. So she calls and asks me to do a reading for there wedding. Really??? Me???? #1. I HATE HATE HATE my voice, 2. I talk to fast when I'm nervous, 3. Really? Me? ok, I'll do it.
I'm honored, but really me??? Yep you Jennifer. UGH, NERVES, know I have to practice, practice, practice.
Now I'm blogging instead of cleaning, so I best get to work.
Jenn
Thursday, August 12, 2010
A NEW BEGINING
Ok, so 21 years after High School Graduation I am going to college. Really, I am. I finally decided what I wanted to do when I grow up. Funny, I'm sure my family are rolling their eyes as they read this. I've tried just about everything. When I graduated from high school in 1989 I was in NO WAY ready for anything except sleeping, meeting boys and DREAMING. I tried college for oh about 1/2 a semester but failed at getting to class on time and actually doing the work. Then I thought I had the answer.... I'll go to travel agent school. Yep, I did it and graduated, thought it would be a "FUN" job, then..... Desert Storm hit and the travel industry took a hit. I remember dropping off 100 resumes and NOTHING. In hind sight I think that's a good think as in the year 2010 people book there own travel. So several thousands of dollars in debt from my "dream" life style I needed a job that paid fast and furious. I know, I know I'll drive pizza's around town for Domino's Pizza. Yeah, my first week was a joke! I thought what a job, I can DRIVE, which I love, and listen to music, which I love, drink pop and bring people dinner. How hard can that be? Well my first day I had to wash dishes, easy huh? Well, I wanted to wash dishes they way my Grandma taught me. You know towel dry em? Nope, not in the restaurant world. Wash..... Rinse.... Sanitize..... AIR DRY. What??? They they dared to give me a "run" (delivery) I had ONE SIMPLE delivery. I got lost, mind you Domino's Pizza STILL had the 30 minute guarantee. I was lost for TWO hours. I didn't have a map, didn't know how to get one and didn't know what to do. I finally got there and delivered probably the WORST pizza in the world. And to top it off I didn't know how to make change. So, that started my career in the pizza world. I actually caught on, learned how to make change and read a map and really enjoyed it. Then one thing lead to another and I climbed the pizza ladder. All the way to Franchisee. Somewhere along the way I took a break from pizza, most likely because I was a spoiled brat and didn't get what I wanted, so I went to Beauty School to be a Nail Technician. I again thought..... this is going to be glamorous and easy fast money. NOPE.... but my heart wasn't in it. I didn't like it too much at the beginning. So I QUIT... STORY OF MY life. I went back to Domino's.... I ended up meeting some FUN people. There were great people. I even met my ex husband but like everything else up to him, I QUIT, he was a great guy. We married, and once again I had the expectation that it would be happily every after, we would love each other til the end and have great athletic children and when things didn't go my way I QUIT. I QUIT so he quit. Our marriage ended. I ran, I ran like the wind to Iowa. I had a friend in Ames that had a "cool college" store. How much more FUN can life be?? Well it was. For the FIRST time in my life I was FREE. Free to be me. A new beginning. I had a cute apartment, friends, single, and some cash in my pocket. I played like a college kid without the class part. I loved it! So my friend wanted to sell his store and once again I put on my ROSE COLORED glasses and dreamed of the successful franchisees I had met along the way. Well, I bought my AMES Domino's Pizza store November of 2001. SHORTLY after September 11...... Need I say more. My ROSE COLORED glasses became dim, and the fantasy of the success actually required work. Managing money, college students (some which were friends), and life as a franchisee was HARD and NOT FUN or GLAMOROUS or PROFITABLE. I thought I could beat the odds. Nope, again, I was ill equipped to GROW UP and put on my big girl panties. I then sold that store and bought a different non college store. Same story, same song, SAME ROSE COLORED GLASSES. Operation Domino's Pizza.....FAILED.
So in December of 2004 I moved back to MN with $30 in my pocket humbled and with my tail between my legs and my head hanging low. I got back into the nail business. I enjoyed it this time. I just did manicures and pedicures and LOVED doing them. On July 4, 2005 I married my husband Jason.... my best friend, my soul mate, and now my "battle buddy". Right before New Year's we found out we were pregnant. But shortly after lost that pregnancy. We were able to get pregnant again and our baby was due in November of 2006. I was nervous because of the mis carriage and had all the jitters and excitement of a first time mom. Well at 10 weeks we had our first OB appt. You know the drill, blood work, instructions for being pregnant, and we'll see ya in a month. Then the phone call came from my blood work and I have weird anti body issues. My pregnancy turned into high risk, multiple doctors from a perinatoligist, hematologist, hematologist, and SHOTS of blood thinner in my BELLY. So..... I finally had to put on my big girl panties and think about someone else's well being. I made it through the shots, and the pregnancy and had an amazing baby GIRL. Samantha Lee. My life changed for the better at 10:55am November 9, 2006. I went into labor very fast and didn't have time for the "happy euphoric" epidural that I hear about. Out she came with her eyes wide open looking for momma and ready to show momma a whole new life. I became a Stay At Home Momma and loved it. I still do love it and wouldn't change the opportunity for the world. SO out went the COACH purses in came the diaper bag and other first time mom accessories, which included spit up, messy hair, no make-up, short and to the point showers, no privacy in the bathroom and the momma's 6th sense kicked in. I NEVER in a million trillion years wanted one of these things!!! In fact the night before induction I cried my eyes out to Jason stating I wanted to give her up for adoption, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be a good mom, I was in NO WAY ready or willing to embrace that this could be one of the most amazing, hard, incredibly fun chapters in my life. NO way was I ready to hold this new life in my arms. I did.... It was like most mom's say "love at first sight" How does that work? How is it that it takes TIME to fall in love with our husbands, or even friends. With our boyfriends/ husbands we "court" go through puppy love, break up, get back together, fall deep enough that we get married, but it takes work. Then this newborn baby is placed in a mother's arms and it's hook... line.....and SINKER. Head over heels in love with this person we know NOTHING about. Amazing. God is an amazing God. That brings me to my next discovery. I grew up in a God, Bible believing, faith based home, BUT some thing happened in my late teen years and I became mad at GOD, angry, untrusting to GOD. But the moment Samantha was born I saw my late Grandma and Jesus in the delivery room. AGAIN.... I was not on any drugs for birth. This is NOT uncommon for people dying to see God or Jesus or a late relative. I saw them both in my room. It was AMAZING. Jesus seemed to have his arms open WAITING PATIENTLY for me to get off the fence and push this baby out and to "GET HIM". I got the message loud and clear, I needed to rebuild my faith in him, not necessarily because I was dying, but because I knew better. I knew it, and I followed. In so so many ways the birth of my daughter was a new beginning for my life. I can honestly say I was a self centered, insecure, self destructive, unhappy women. Poor me, Poor me. Well my daughter changed that in an instant. I had NEVER smiled so much in my life. I would cry when I looked at her. I was so blessed to have a baby that slept through the night, breastfed like a champ, smiled, has the most amazing sparkly eyes and HEALTHY. I cried because I didn't think I deserved this gift. I don't, I'm a sinner like everyone else. So I dug into my very dusty Bible and wanted to figure out why I had been given this gift. I'd always rolled my eyes at the "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" and "God doesn't make mistakes" quotes but He is my God and there is a reason he "dug me out of the miry clay" if I am worthy of His love, so I must be worthy of this little girl. Jason and I dedicated her to God, and promised in front of friends, family and God that we would raise her in His honor and boy do I NOT regret that. She is know of the pre school age and I'm so glad to have God in our life. She has now been asking why she came out of my tummy. Hmmmmmmm how do you explain that to a 3 yr old? I said "well, God said you were done cooking, so you could come out." "oh, ok momma" was her response and on with the next life's mystery question. Well the other night she was at her YaYa's house and told her and PopPop that she used to live in mom's tummy and then God told her to GET OUT. (funny how she's likes to think God evicted her from my tummy)
So my husband popped this discussion on my one day a few years ago. "honey, what would you think if I joined the military." Hmmmmm...... Ummmmm....... I'm not sure I like that idea. We had short wife freaking out conversations about it and then dropped it for a while. UNTIL, he came home one day and said "i have to go to a hotel on this day and I'm getting sworn into the Army National Guard." My response...."are you kidding me" J "nope, I'm really doing it." Wife thinking in her mind.... He's going to die, he's off his loving rocker..... what is going on. So my husband joined. Shocked, he did it. 3 months later I was sending him off to Basic Training. I thought my world was ending. We as a couple and individually changed so so much for the better. After the initial shock he LOVED it and is really GOOD at it. He's like a little boy when he goes to training and drill enough that he is pursuing a FULL time position in the ACTIVE ARMY!!! Yep my husband LOVES it and I LOVE that he loves it!! I'm so so proud of him! But as he is growing in his Army career and my daughter is growing into a little person instead of the momma dependant infant, I'm feeling a bit left behind in the dust. Nothing I had done to this point had made me dying to get back into. I can't be a home maker forever, it would drive me NUTS real fast! So Jason and I talked about schooling for me. If I could go to college NOW what would I do. Hmmm, I don't know. I have a burning desire to be a nurse now. I wouldn't have thought about it 20 years ago. But I really want to be a labor and delivery nurse. That's my deep dark secret college dream, but I have always loved photography. I feel like so much of life can be captured in a photo. So here I am off to my venture to learn professional photographer.
College here I come....... ready or not here I come!
Jenn
So in December of 2004 I moved back to MN with $30 in my pocket humbled and with my tail between my legs and my head hanging low. I got back into the nail business. I enjoyed it this time. I just did manicures and pedicures and LOVED doing them. On July 4, 2005 I married my husband Jason.... my best friend, my soul mate, and now my "battle buddy". Right before New Year's we found out we were pregnant. But shortly after lost that pregnancy. We were able to get pregnant again and our baby was due in November of 2006. I was nervous because of the mis carriage and had all the jitters and excitement of a first time mom. Well at 10 weeks we had our first OB appt. You know the drill, blood work, instructions for being pregnant, and we'll see ya in a month. Then the phone call came from my blood work and I have weird anti body issues. My pregnancy turned into high risk, multiple doctors from a perinatoligist, hematologist, hematologist, and SHOTS of blood thinner in my BELLY. So..... I finally had to put on my big girl panties and think about someone else's well being. I made it through the shots, and the pregnancy and had an amazing baby GIRL. Samantha Lee. My life changed for the better at 10:55am November 9, 2006. I went into labor very fast and didn't have time for the "happy euphoric" epidural that I hear about. Out she came with her eyes wide open looking for momma and ready to show momma a whole new life. I became a Stay At Home Momma and loved it. I still do love it and wouldn't change the opportunity for the world. SO out went the COACH purses in came the diaper bag and other first time mom accessories, which included spit up, messy hair, no make-up, short and to the point showers, no privacy in the bathroom and the momma's 6th sense kicked in. I NEVER in a million trillion years wanted one of these things!!! In fact the night before induction I cried my eyes out to Jason stating I wanted to give her up for adoption, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be a good mom, I was in NO WAY ready or willing to embrace that this could be one of the most amazing, hard, incredibly fun chapters in my life. NO way was I ready to hold this new life in my arms. I did.... It was like most mom's say "love at first sight" How does that work? How is it that it takes TIME to fall in love with our husbands, or even friends. With our boyfriends/ husbands we "court" go through puppy love, break up, get back together, fall deep enough that we get married, but it takes work. Then this newborn baby is placed in a mother's arms and it's hook... line.....and SINKER. Head over heels in love with this person we know NOTHING about. Amazing. God is an amazing God. That brings me to my next discovery. I grew up in a God, Bible believing, faith based home, BUT some thing happened in my late teen years and I became mad at GOD, angry, untrusting to GOD. But the moment Samantha was born I saw my late Grandma and Jesus in the delivery room. AGAIN.... I was not on any drugs for birth. This is NOT uncommon for people dying to see God or Jesus or a late relative. I saw them both in my room. It was AMAZING. Jesus seemed to have his arms open WAITING PATIENTLY for me to get off the fence and push this baby out and to "GET HIM". I got the message loud and clear, I needed to rebuild my faith in him, not necessarily because I was dying, but because I knew better. I knew it, and I followed. In so so many ways the birth of my daughter was a new beginning for my life. I can honestly say I was a self centered, insecure, self destructive, unhappy women. Poor me, Poor me. Well my daughter changed that in an instant. I had NEVER smiled so much in my life. I would cry when I looked at her. I was so blessed to have a baby that slept through the night, breastfed like a champ, smiled, has the most amazing sparkly eyes and HEALTHY. I cried because I didn't think I deserved this gift. I don't, I'm a sinner like everyone else. So I dug into my very dusty Bible and wanted to figure out why I had been given this gift. I'd always rolled my eyes at the "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" and "God doesn't make mistakes" quotes but He is my God and there is a reason he "dug me out of the miry clay" if I am worthy of His love, so I must be worthy of this little girl. Jason and I dedicated her to God, and promised in front of friends, family and God that we would raise her in His honor and boy do I NOT regret that. She is know of the pre school age and I'm so glad to have God in our life. She has now been asking why she came out of my tummy. Hmmmmmmm how do you explain that to a 3 yr old? I said "well, God said you were done cooking, so you could come out." "oh, ok momma" was her response and on with the next life's mystery question. Well the other night she was at her YaYa's house and told her and PopPop that she used to live in mom's tummy and then God told her to GET OUT. (funny how she's likes to think God evicted her from my tummy)
So my husband popped this discussion on my one day a few years ago. "honey, what would you think if I joined the military." Hmmmmm...... Ummmmm....... I'm not sure I like that idea. We had short wife freaking out conversations about it and then dropped it for a while. UNTIL, he came home one day and said "i have to go to a hotel on this day and I'm getting sworn into the Army National Guard." My response...."are you kidding me" J "nope, I'm really doing it." Wife thinking in her mind.... He's going to die, he's off his loving rocker..... what is going on. So my husband joined. Shocked, he did it. 3 months later I was sending him off to Basic Training. I thought my world was ending. We as a couple and individually changed so so much for the better. After the initial shock he LOVED it and is really GOOD at it. He's like a little boy when he goes to training and drill enough that he is pursuing a FULL time position in the ACTIVE ARMY!!! Yep my husband LOVES it and I LOVE that he loves it!! I'm so so proud of him! But as he is growing in his Army career and my daughter is growing into a little person instead of the momma dependant infant, I'm feeling a bit left behind in the dust. Nothing I had done to this point had made me dying to get back into. I can't be a home maker forever, it would drive me NUTS real fast! So Jason and I talked about schooling for me. If I could go to college NOW what would I do. Hmmm, I don't know. I have a burning desire to be a nurse now. I wouldn't have thought about it 20 years ago. But I really want to be a labor and delivery nurse. That's my deep dark secret college dream, but I have always loved photography. I feel like so much of life can be captured in a photo. So here I am off to my venture to learn professional photographer.
College here I come....... ready or not here I come!
Jenn
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